It's official! We've made it through the first trimester and all is well with our little kiddo.
We're not sure yet if it's a boy or girl, so I've lovingly been calling him/her 'baby groot,' a name no one thinks is very cute UNLESS they've seen Guardians of the Galaxy. ;)
But the first trimester is no piece of cake. Throwing up every morning while trying to be a girl boss is harder then I thought it would be, so I've got three tips for all those first time millennial moms-to-be.... who are maybe terrified about what is to come or just need some words of encouragement.
For me, finding out I was pregnant was a joyous thing. And then the terror set in. I love leading my company, traveling the world, speaking, and showing up for work everyday. Every calling is valuable, but the calling God has put on my life for this season has always been coupled with the business I've helped grow and run. With my pregnancy announcement, I felt this very weird, self imposed doom and pressure that my work and travel days were over. It was a sinking, frightening feeling. (Also, the couple people that have decided to tell me "enjoy this time before the baby comes, because you'll have no time and no life afterwards" may have set me off a bit).
After talking to many of my millennial girlfriends, I find that this is a common fear for my age group (an age group that is increasingly pursuing entrepreneurship.... and wants parenthood and entrepreneurship to co-exist.).
Our generation's values have shifted a bit and some of us are scared of WHO we have to become in order to be a mother, as it may look different then tradition.
But no matter, let me speak truth for a second. YOU are still YOU when you're pregnant and your baby is just a beautiful addition to your life. And if you live as fully YOU while pregnant and after, your baby will be all the better for it.
WHO you have to be is exactly YOU.
I promise. My mom lived this truth for me. She loved us kiddos with all her heart, but we were a part of her and my dad's sweeping adventure, not the other way around. And I firmly believe that seeing my parents live out their unique them-ness created healthy, happy kids in us.
So three things I'm learning and reminding myself of through this wonderful, scary, weird ride:
1. Your pregnancy and mommyhood can look however YOU want it to
If you desire to stay home and have the ability to, do it. If your personality was built to work full time, do it. If you want to travel with a baby on your back, go for it. If you're longing to homeschool your kiddos, pursue your calling.
My family traveled, ran businesses, homeschooled me, and brought me along on all their adventures.
Their life did not stop when I showed up, but they immediately immersed me in the fullness that was them.
I was a part of their love story, their adventures, and their passion for this life. And I loved growing up that way. I always felt part of something bigger than myself, and that gave me security and a love for life.
Just do you. And don't let anyone else define what it needs to look like. The adventure does not end when a kid comes around. Your story can become sweeter, deeper, and more full.
2. Start creating your own affirmations to speak over yourself.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was super happy. And then about a week in, the fear set in. I wasn't super maternal...so how could I be a good mom? I work too much and really don't want to stay home....would I mess my kids up? I have an amazing closeness with my husband and don't want it to go away....what if it does?
These are all erroneous thoughts that fear tries to plant in our minds. That fear will come and all of us deal with it. But creating 'affirmations' or statements of truth really do help you continually overcome fear.
So I sat down and wrote out five affirmations that I repeat to myself everyday.
They can be super simple or more complex, but they have to attack the root fear you feel and replace that thought with truth. For me, many of my private ones turn into prayers of faith over my family and child.
My work ethic, strength, passion, and drivenness will teach my kids how to love their life and work hard for something they love.
My adventurous spirit will show my children how to embrace and fully live life.
I will make time to do what I love in my career AND spend time with my kids.
Traveling will teach them to appreciate this world, love everyone, and to adapt to change.
My relationship with Ryan will change and become even deeper and better.... because of what we created together.
These are just some examples. I challenge you - whether you're pregnant or just terrified of one day being pregnant (like me) - start creating your own and speaking them over yourself now.
3. Keep the adventure alive through pregnancy
It can be tough to still feel fun when you're sick and bloated. But don't stop doing the things you love because of it. Take a ride down to the beach, go hike your favorite national park, have a game night with your husband, go on a mini roadtrip with friends. I have intentionally placed fun things through out the next few months that remind me of who I am and what I love. I love to travel. I love adventure. I love community. And yes, my life will change. But I can still live fully in those things while pregnant and with a child.
Keep those little reminders by intentionally planning you-like activities through-out being pregnant. This, just like affirmations, will remind you of who you are and what brings you joy.
You millennial mom-to-be (or one day mom to be): Remember that life does not end when you have a kid. You are still you and no one can make you not YOU. You control the way you parent, the way you work, the joy you have, and the life you want. So don't let society or any negative Nancys tell you what kind of 'mom' you have to be.
There is no right way for anyone, but by living as fully yourself while you're pregnant and when you have your baby, you will find so much more joy. And you will teach that precious child how to do and find the same thing.
We can do this together, friends.
Hey, friend! I'm Chelsie!
Stay a while and get comfy. <3